Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
