i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
