Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
