i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
We need to get me chipped asap
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
