So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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