I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
