he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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