Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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