walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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