Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
