so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
