I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize