bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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