Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
