Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
