i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
