ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize