Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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