I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
and you fell through a lawn chair
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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