Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
