so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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