She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
