I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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