Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I love having hate sex.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
