thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
