it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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