you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I cannot find my penis.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
what day is it and did you see me today?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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