I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
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He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
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YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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