he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Mom said you looked used
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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