I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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