what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
