we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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