So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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