i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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