I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
