Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
thus making me awesome and them whores
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
