i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
