You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
