it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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