it was like his penis was on wheels.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
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his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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