My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
