I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
