My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
