So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
