Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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