I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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