margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
