I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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