Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
