she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
