Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
