she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
