Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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