Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize