I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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