Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it

(617): View more from Massachusetts

We call that spaghetti Os

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(614): View more from Ohio

There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw

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(949): View more from California

im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever

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(615): View more from Tennessee

What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job

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(970): View more from Colorado

Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.

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(646): View more from New York

How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.

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