Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
this must be what syphilis tastes like
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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