yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
