Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Houston, we have a blender
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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