Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
