saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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