She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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