His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
